I bet you thought this was happening in 1999, too. Don't lie. You know you own a Hardcore for the Headstrong CD.

The Midwest is always good for some of the worst DJ names humanly possible.

Pool the $50 you guys make from this event and put it towards buying an art student some weed to design you a better flyer

The joke writes itself here.

I just lost sight in my left eye from all the lens flare

100% UK Hardcore... none of that pappy French shit.